Some feel it is a sign of weakness to show one’s grief. Quite the opposite is true. It takes real courage to face it head on! The stress of facing our grief can take a toll on our physical and mental health. There are some general ways we can manage this stressful time. Early on, it is important not to make big or final decisions about anything. It is not a good time to sell the house or give away all the deceased’s belongings.

Even if you don’t feel like eating, try to eat real food instead of fast food. You may have to force yourself if your appetite has disappeared. At least, take a vitamin supplement. Move your body. Walking is the best and easiest exercise. Rest with closed eyes when you can’t sleep.

Later on after the loss, simplify your life as much as possible. A structured and predictable schedule seems to help. Let go of the “if onlys” and forgive yourself over and over, for the past, for your feelings and for anything, real or imaginary.

Forgive everyone everything. They may not deserve it but you deserve the peace it will bring you.

Allow your family to grieve in their own ways. Be compassionate but do not seek to solve their grief.

Survive!

Still later on is a good time to establish new rituals around holidays and special occasions, even around daily patterns.

If you feel like you are healing, allow yourself to laugh or rest or forget for a moment. You don’t need a “forever pain” in order to remember or love your person.

Six Basics For Managing Stress

Balanced nutrition and simple exercise (like walking).
Keep your fluid intake high.
Avoid caffeine, alcohol, sgar in excess.
Get adequate rest.
Seek out social networks of people you can be yourself with and enjoy.
Be kind to yourself and lower your expectations. You might have your own list of stress managing strategies. For me, yoga, Tai chi and Meditation head my list. What is helpful for you?

Next Month: LIVING WITH LOSS:

You can contact Becky Watkins at the following e-mail address: becky.watkins@christushealth.org