If you have ever suffered, you may have asked these age old questions: What is the meaning of suffering? Why do innocent people suffer? If God is all good and all powerful, why didn't He/She save my loved one? Am I being punished for sin with this suffering? Does God even care? We want to believe, but are afraid of being hurt again.

First, I think it is a sign of spiritual growth that we feel the intimacy with God to be able to ask such questions. If you have read the book of Job in the Bible, the underlying theme is, "Why God?" These questions and reactions to the loss of loved ones are NORMAL.

Second, I believe in a God who mourns with me. I have to believe in a God who cries and mourns that a young life is cut short without living out "the fullness of days". If we have lived long enough, we all have stories of loss. Some of these stories are more painful than others. What my own losses have taught me is that God does care and has compassion for us in our human experience.

If you have recently experienced the loss of someone close to you, be reassured that you are being "held" by God, even if it doesn't feel that way.

I don't have the answer to suffering except that life seems to be set up that way. The theologian and Franciscan Priest, Richard Rohr says that we suffer because that is the only thing strong enough to de-stabilize the human ego and allow God to work in our lives.

Lost loved ones will always leave voids in our lives and continue to be missed, nevertheless it is possible for life to be good again if we allow it to be.

Have you ever been to a high mountain of 12,000 feet or more? The air is clear and the view is indescribably beautiful. However, nothing grows up there! For all the peace and beauty of such a high mountain top, it is barren and fruitless. If we lived only on the mountaintops of life, our souls would be barren. It is in the deep, low places (often places hidden from everyone but God) that we cultivate and grow understanding, compassion and courage.

Reinhold Niebuhr wrote these inspiring words that have helped me on the Journey,
"God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference; living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next."

Next Month: LIVING WITH LOSS: THE WOUNDED HEALER

You can contact Becky Watkins at the following e-mail address: becky.watkins@christushealth.org