Have you ever experienced the “Holiday Blues”?  Some people love the holidays, but for many, it can be a stressful time even if you aren’t grieving.  The holidays are charged with emotion, the pace can grow hectic and the pressures can become demanding.

For grievers, the stress of expectation and the forced “joy” can be overwhelming. Nothing is the same and it is never going to be the same again.  How can the rest of the world sing “Joy to the World” and wish each other “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Hanukah”?  How can the world go on turning when yours has stopped?

Right after we lost three family members in a plane crash, I remember that I just wanted to say, “Stop the world, I want to get off!”

These are a few things that others have shared with me and some of my own ways of coping with the Holiday Blues:

1.  Lower your expectations.  Let someone else cook the meal.  Don’t decorate unless you want to.  Forget writing Christmas cards.   It is okay to take a break this time.

2.  AA has a great saying, “Fake it till you make it.”  I felt like a wounded animal, but I smiled a lot and wore the mask that said, “I am fine, I am happy and everything is going to be okay.”  It actually made me feel better and I started believing my own rhetoric!

3. Change at least one thing.  Trying to keep everything exactly the same is a recipe for disaster.  I gave away a lot of tree decorations and bought butterflies to clip on the branches.  It was a butterfly tree and still is.  Butterflies are a special symbol of hope and new life.  This gave our family a new tradition to share.  I wrote our loved ones names on some of the butterflies so they would be included in our holiday celebration.

4. Find time to meditate, pray and journal. It helps so much to make time for the holy.

5.  If you can, take long walks in nature.  Find a park or wooded area.  Nature is very healing for most people.

 6. Be open to “signs and wonders”.  The Franciscan priest, Richard Rohr says, “God comes to us disguised as our lives and reminds us we are loved and we are love.

Next month: Living with Loss: Becoming More Real

You can contact Becky Watkins at the following e-mail address: becky.watkins@christushealth.org