Support groups are a wonderful opportunity for personal growth. At a recent support group for parents and grandparents whose child has died, we put on paper words of wisdom and “lessons” we have learned during our own “grief school”. Maybe these words will be healing and helpful to you during your own grief journey.

Lessons learned and shared:

In our loss there are unexpected moments of grace and acts of grace.

The return to powerful grief can happen quickly. Grief comes back but that is okay.

People say dumb things even if they want to be helpful; people are often afraid of our grief.

Have compassion for others.  Lean on each other.  Love more, love unconditionally.

Breathe deeply!

I am not in control of anything.

The person I loved was not mine to begin with and still isn’t.

It is okay to be angry with God.

Grief is a humbling experience.

Out priorities and our values changed.  “Things” are not important.

It takes a lot of courage to face our grief head on.

We have a story to share and grief unites us.

Bad things happen to good people and life is unpredictable.

We have to live our grief and “live for the living”.

Don’t sweat the small stuff, life is short and live it to the fullest.

Be kind to yourself.

Celebrate the life instead of dwelling on the death.

Our job is to let go, to live, to surrender, to believe, to find peace, and to notice signs and wonders.

“KNOW THAT YOUR LOVED ONE IS WATCHING OVER YOU.”

Next Month: LIVING WITH LOSS: Ideas that work for the holidays.

You can contact Becky Watkins at the following e-mail address: becky.watkins@christushealth.org