If you ask me...
Dear Bettye: I am 65 years old and my greatest gripe is that people say “okay” after every word. What happened to the English language? Is it me? Age doesn’t have a thing to do with it. Most of the people I know are sick of “you know” and “like” and all the rest. I find it especially aggravating on television because I can’t understand a word most celebrities say anyway. I have found it very helpful to turn on the Closed Caption button in order to make sense of it all. Dear Bettye: Just how much does a person have to apologize for making a remark? One of my friends is so mean I said she must have hardening of the arteries. Now she won’t speak to me. What more can I do? First of all, a friend wouldn’t be mean to you. If you still want a mean friend, send a card and explain it was all a joke and you realize her arteries are as soft anyone else’s. If that doesn’t work – forget it and her. Dear Bettye: I don’t understand anything about how things work today. I was invited out for lunch and thought that meant I was the guest. Not only did she not pay for me, she gave me her bill and said she would treat next time. What do I do next time? The rule used to be that if someone asked you out to lunch you were their guest. Today, it means you will have lunch together and pay for your own meal. If someone says “Please be my guest for lunch” that means they will pay. Maybe. Dear Bettye: My father ,75, talks about nothing but the past. What can we do? Get him a recorder and encourage him to make tapes of his memories and family history. One day you will cherish those tapes. Dear Bettye: When anything is served why do people say, “Oh, just give me a very small piece” Then they eat three large pieces? After much research I have finally concluded they believe that by saying how little they eat no one will notice that they have the appetite of a water buffalo. Dear Bettye: I am a mature but able-bodied woman, and recently offered my seat at a conference to a young man in leg braces. He politely refused. Did I do the wrong thing? You were polite to offer- he made the choice not to accept. It’s never wrong to be polite. Dear Bettye: We want to put a note into our wedding invitations that asks that the money they would spend on a gift be donated to our favorite charity. Is this acceptable? No. You can have a charitable gala or a wedding, but you can’t have a charity wedding. If you do receive money you can say in your thank-you note that you donated the money to your favorite charity. Dear Bettye: I am fed up with my secretary refusing to bring coffee to me and my clients or to remove the dirty cups after a meeting. I expect an employee to do what they are asked to do. Am I wrong? You are not only wrong you are confused about what employees are expected to do. You can always fire a secretary for not being your cleaning lady, but finding a cleaning lady who also takes dictation, types, files, runs the office, handles telephone calls and visitors may prove to be difficult if not impossible. Think about it. Dear Bettye: Please set us straight on what monogram to use on sheets – the initials of the bride before or after she marries. It was the custom years ago to have the bride’s family initials on her trousseau. Mainly because girls began assembling their trousseau at an early age and had no idea who their husband would be. Today’s brides might decide to renew the custom since marriages don’t seem to last as long as they used to. But then, sheets don’t either. Dear Bettye: Why do people with call-waiting leave the line to talk with the other person? I think it’s rude – do you? I am never left hanging on the line because I hang up. So should you. Dear Bettye: I realize large companies hire other firms to handle their customer complaints, but recently I waited for over 10 minutes to talk with a person instead of a computer. All the time they were trying to sell me other things. What can be done? Nothing except to write to the president of the company and let him know you will never buy from that company again and why. If I have to call about a complaint and am kept waiting I take advantage of the option to have my call returned. When the company calls back I say, ”She is busy on another line helping other callers, but your call is important to her and you will be connected as soon as possible.” The longest anyone waited was three minutes. Send your questions or comments to bdekrcoa@AOL.com
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