Dear Bettye: I know you will think this is ridiculous but my youngest sister has been seeing my older sister’s ex-husband and our whole family is upset by it. She can’t see any reason why she can’t date him. What can I say to her?
There is nothing you can say that will change her mind. You could mention a man who will enter into such a relationship is worthless or how she is hurting her niece and nephew, but I doubt she will care. If she can’t see such a relationship is disastrous and can only lead to her own unhappiness since such a man cannot be trusted, what could you possible say to convince her?
Dear Bettye: I have been given a beautiful pearl ring by the man I date. I have been divorced after 40 years of marriage so I don’t know what today’s etiquette says about what finger to wear it on or what to tell my friends it represents.
Where you wear the ring and what it means is what your boyfriend says it represents.
Dear Bettye: I am sick of alumni newsletters. Everyone has wonderful families, beautiful children and fulfilling jobs. I know some of all that is pure fiction. Is there any polite way to let the editor know?
No. Most people feel the same way you do, but on the other hand, it’s better than reading about divorce, depression and dead-end jobs.
Dear Bettye: You write now and then about how to use silverware. but what should be done when I use a wrong fork and end up a fork short?
As soon as you realize you have used the wrong fork, put it down and pick up the correct one. However, if you have been given the right number of forks in the first place, even using a wrong one would not make you end up a fork short. Is this a trick question?
Dear Bettye: The man I date is the same height as I am, but I weigh about 25 pounds more than he does. We like to dance and I am constantly worried I will be too heavy for some of the steps we use. What can I do?
You seem to forget he isn’t blind. He knows you weigh more than he does after swirling and dipping around as you dance. If he hasn’t commented about it – forget it and keep swirling.
Dear Bettye: I rely on you as the expert in judging people. My question is: how can a woman tell if a man is serious about her?
I can recognize a phony a mile away, but I try never to judge anyone. As for how a man acts when he is serious about a woman there are some obvious signs: he will do and not do certain things he did before he met her. He will not see certain people he saw before he met her, he will be very attentive, send flowers and listen to every word she says. He will take her to meet his family and be fearful she will not like them. He will volunteer to do yard work and take out the garbage without being asked.
Dear Bettye: How can you let someone know they are mispronouncing a word? A friend says celestial for cholesterol.
The kindest way is to use the word as many times as possible and hope they will notice.
Dear Bettye: Should a man – divorced and remarried be buried next to his former wife as his children want or his widow?
I can’t help but think it would be wrong to force a man who has taken legal action to avoid spending the rest of his life with someone to have to rest next to her for all eternity. It doesn’t matter what his children want – what does he want?
Dear Bettye: Someone I know always says when she is introduced - no matter what the other person’s last name is “What kind of a name is that?” It makes me furious, but what can I say?
Say, “I can understand why you are so interested in such a beautiful name since your own is so terribly ordinary.”
Dear Hettye: I am a widow of 63 and my mother does not approve of the manI am dating. She says he has a weak chin.
My mother made similar remarks. I have to tell you she was always right. Take another look at him.
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