"To prevent the hair from turning gray, anoint it with the blood of a black calf which has been boiled in oil, or with the fat of a rattlesnake." Those outrageous instructions probably qualify them to be the original myth about the process of aging. Today, we reject them out of hand as being a deceptive myth, but back in 1552 B.C. there were many believers who diligently followed them in every detail. And why shouldn't they? The instructions were from the trusted Egyptian medical book Papyrus Ebers.

Predating the beginning of recorded history, myth making has played a dominant role in the development of the multitude of diverse cultures that have come and gone in the history of our world. Foremost among the scholars who have contributed to an understanding of mythology is Sir James George Frazier, a British professor of social anthropology who was especially interested in the study of myth and religion.

He is best known for his book The Golden Bough, a book which I read during my college days. Over the years his book was expanded to 13 volumes, but one volume was sufficient for me to achieve a basic understanding of mythology while maintaining my own vital religious faith.

Today myths are to be found in every area of life. Myths about aging are still with us today - primarily because we just do not want the inevitable aging process to make us look older than we are. A current T.V. commercial shows an attractive lady going berserk when she encounters her first "age spot" that suddenly appeared on a previously unblemished face. It has always been that way. I remember when beautiful Greta Garbo, who in 1950 was chosen the best actress of the half century, voluntarily entered into an isolated retirement that led her to become a virtual recluse. It is believed in some circles that she was emotionally unable to face the fact that her beauty was beginning to fade. Age spots had the enormous power to drive her into the darkness of a New York City apartment where she was seen no more by the general public.

Our own enchantment with looking young and attractive may incline us to become believers in modern myths that promise to put the normal aging process on hold. But, before joining the parade of would be believers, we need to take a critical look at what they have to offer.

Believing in age delaying myths could be deceptive and harmful. Diminishing their position of power should be helpful in guiding us through the anxiety filled days of graying hair, multiple age spots and wrinkles galore.

High on the list of myths that deceive is the one that says: "YOU WILL BE IN YOUR OLDER YEARS THE SAME PERSON YOU WERE IN MIDDLE AGE." To which I say," Balderdash! Not true."  Deep inside each of us are unused mechanisms that can rescue us from carrying the burden of a self centered and egoistic life style over into the senior years - a burden that results in only being tolerated by others and never being well liked or loved. We are not talking about turning sinners into saints - we are talking about the possibility of moderate changes that will make the senior years more enjoyable and less stressful. It will save us from the cold arctic loneliness that surrounds the unlikeable and the unloved.

To believe that a person can't make a change is to believe a deceptive myth - a big lie. If you have tried to make the change but have not succeeded on your own, then stretch out your hand and allow someone from outside yourself to take hold and provide a needed rescue.
Another deceptive myth about the aging process is the one that says: "IN YOUTH IT IS SPRINGTIME, IN MIDDLE AGE IT IS SUMMER AND IN OLD AGE IT IS WINTER." Even though the sacred writings of most religions use that metaphor, it is not wise to use it as a measuring stick for what should be happening to us as we traverse through the various stages of life.

There are some youth who, because of an accident or an illness, have missed the springtime of life. There are some middle age people who have bypassed summer and have gone on from springtime directly into old age, taking on the limitations that gradually affect the elderly. Then, there are some fortunate seniors who say, "It may be winter, but I am walking to my final destination through fields that are covered with flowers."

On her ninetieth birthday, the grandmother of my friend, Connie Augustine, was asked what she wanted for a present. Without hesitation she replied, "I want a ten year diary." Now that is life being walked through fields of flowers. Such an example is a constant reminder that advanced age should never be considered as being synonymous with the dull dreary days of winter. Even when snow is on the ground, the heart, the spirit, and the soul can live in the springtime. Say no to the big lie! Perennial winter time for seniors is a deceitful myth that must be stripped of its power.

Another myth about aging that must be put to the test of veracity is the one that says: "COME GROW OLD WITH ME, FOR THE BEST IS YET TO BE." Linking growing older with the concept that it holds the promise of the best years of life, plays a grotesque joke on families where an elderly member suffers from a debilitating stroke or is placed in the dark, endless tunnel of nothingness called Alzheimer's.

It was that way for an older brother of mine whose daily visits went unnoticed by a beloved wife who had entered that tunnel of silence and never came out. So, the question is: Best for whom? Best for the sufferer? Best for the survivor? Or, best for neither? Of all the myths about aging, this must be the most dreadful of all.

The familiar words, "Grow old with me / the best is yet to be," are from the pen of English poet Robert Browning. His marriage to Elizabeth Barrett, another gifted poet, resulted in a story of love unequaled in their time. Elizabeth's father bitterly opposed their marriage, so they eloped to Italy where she later wrote her legendary Sonnet in which she penned the immortal words "How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. . ." These were the descriptive, unforgettable words that Elizabeth wanted to convey to her husband Robert who had nursed her back to health during their early days in Italy.

Now, when we place the words of poet Browning "Grow old with me / the best is yet to be" against the backdrop of the words of Elizabeth, his words take on a completely different meaning. They can no longer be called a myth. They now become a message of enduring love - a shared love that makes growing older together, even under dire and unfortunate circumstances, a blessing and not a curse. So, as a final evaluation of the matter, we cross out the word myth and write in the word love.

But there are other myths that do not fare as well when put to the evaluation test. What about the myth that says: "When old age enters the front door, sexuality steps out the back door." In a book by Mary Pipher, she discusses the various aspects of the process of aging. She writes about a joke that was making the rounds of her home state of Nebraska: "A man finds a frog who says that if she is kissed, she'll turn into a beautiful princess. Instead of kissing the frog, the man puts her into his pocket. The frog says,'don't you want to kiss me and have a beautiful princess?' The man replies, 'Frankly, AT MY AGE, I would rather have a talking frog.'"

The key to combat any anxiety that may arise out of the relationship between aging and sexuality is a willingness to be educated. Information is available that should enable seniors to determine for themselves what that relationship should be.

Debunking the myths of aging is a continuing challenge for all seniors everywhere, to whom I graciously give these parting words: "Come, grow old with me, for the best is yet to be."