IThe New Year is a great time to clean closets and discard things that are no longer necessary or used.  It is also a good time to review opinions and to decide which ones to keep, change or discard altogether.

I rarely change my mind about people or things once I have deliberated and reach a conclusion.  But, lately I have discovered new facts previously unknown to me that have made radical alterations in some of my longheld and cherished opinions. 

Things that have remained constant:

• Most of the things I have worried about never happened.
• You can get by on charm for about 25 years, then after that you better know something.
• The greatest challenge in life is to decide who and what is important and to disregard everyone and everything else.
• It is useless to try to explain Southern things to Northern people.
• Regardless of which line you get in, the other one will move faster.
• Always keep clothes that make you feel and look good, no matter how ancient they are.  You will regret it if you give them away.
• Hang on to all books you love including Good Night, Moon and Little Women.
• Keep anything you love, even if you don’t know what to do with it, why you ever decided to buy it or save it.
• Cherish Christmas ornaments you loved as a child.
• Keep all family documents, letters and journals even if they don’t seem significant now.
• No good deed ever goes unpunished.
• Honest criticism  is difficult to take from a relative, friend, acquaintance or stranger.
• The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win you are still a rat.
• There is and always has been plenty of money – it’s just not always in the right pockets.
• I must believe in good luck – how else can I tolerate the success of those who don’t deserve it or I don’t like?
• People who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who know we do.
• The two hardest things in life to handle are failure and success.
• No matter what fashion experts say, I still am unable to wear white shoes before Easter or after labor Day, because my mother said so.
• You can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles a rainy day, tangled Christmas tree lights and when you run out of gas on the freeway.
• A woman would rather be complimented on her intelligence than her good looks.
• Nothing in the world gives you more freedom that a lot of money in the bank.
• The trick is to live a long time without getting old

Things to rid yourself of:

• Any evidence that you once dotted an “i” with little hearts, circles or happy faces.
• Shoes that hurt your toe even if they were expensive and on sale.
• All photographs that make you look less attractive than Janet Reno.
• Socks with holes, anything with a small spot, things that don’t fit but might if you lose weight.
• People who aggravate you
• The conviction that you must do anything to please anyone.
• Anyone who is negative, depressing or aggressive and disrupts your life.
• Rudeness.  Never allow a rude remark to go unchallenged.  I am all for confrontation.  Clearing the air is something I have to do or I will have a severe headache.  I don’t see much value in forgetting, either.  Remembering can keep it from happening again.
• Considering the source.  That theory may have worked in gentler times when everyone observed the same level of civility.  Anyone following that line of thinking will be eaten alive in today’s world.
• And speaking of opinions, after more than 20 years of giving opinions and advise, calls, letters and emails are still pouring in. I never cease to be amazed by the situations people become embroiled in and for some strange reason cannot see the obvious way to extricate themselves.  My mother, who was always right, said that people know the right thing to do – they just want someone else to do it.

Don’t think for a minute that all the people who have a question are pleased, satisfied with my answer or take my advice.  I am criticized, rebuked, chastised as well as praised, complemented and congratulated.

There are the calls, emails and letters from people who think my advice is hard, stern and  unsympathetic.  They are right.  If you were drowning of how much help would  kind words be?  Wouldn’t practical advice on how to get out of the hot water be more valuable?

I am assured I am on the right track by Will Rogers who said it best:  Good advice is always resented and an honest adviser hated because the truth is hard to bear.