IWhat has happened to really entertaining, interesting and colorful politicians?  They all say the same things on any subject or in any situation.  I know there is a playbook written by each political party with certain embarrassing things to keep pounding in the heads of voters, but it is boring to hear the same litany over and over again from the same guests on talk shows.
    
One thing you have to admire about politicians lately whether you are a supporter or not. They can do an about face quicker than a crack drill team. What I enjoy the most is if they make a statement that is simply not true, factually inaccurate or just ridiculous, they simply pretend they never said it.  When questioned about it they say they never made such a statement/voiced such an opinion or been so slandered in their life.

I especially like the following standard statements:

Number 1: “That accusation is completely false and is a baldfaced lie.” This comment is used as we begin to learn about the grand jury subpeonas.

Number 2.  I, for one, was eager to have this entire matter investigated.  When it’s all said and done, everyone will realize I have been grievously wronged by the press and my political enemies.” This old worn-out statement is brought out, dusted off and repeated as often as possible – usually after it is obvious to everyone with a brain that the accusations are true.

Number 3. “Why do you people in the press always quote me out of context? You take one simple opinion and leave out all that went before and after to create controversy and sell your papers.”  If all else fails, then attack.  Remember Bill Clinton?  I’ll never forget his famous words: ”It all depends on what is, is.”

All media make excellent targets because they either don’t print what someone wants or they do.  It’s always a good tactic to throw up a smokescreen and blame the media.

Number 4.  “If I make a mistake, I don’t mind admitting it.  Who doesn’t make mistakes?  There was only one perfect Man.” And he certainly wasn’t a politician.  What is keeping him up at night is he not only made the mistake, he lied about making it and he tried to get the wrong person fired who said he did.

Number 5. “I have given this matter a great deal of prayerful thought and I am going to be honest with you…”  Now here is where we are all in trouble – when they start saying they are going to be honest.  Remember: “I am not a crook.” 

Number 6. “If I had known all the facts as I do now, I must admit I would have handled this matter in a different way.”  Interpreted, this means if he had any idea someone might have told anyone about the deal, he would never had any part of it.

Number 7:  “All things considered I have come to the sad conclusion that in the interest of peace and harmony within my party, I will resign to spend more time with my wife and family.”  What has happened here is that he has accepted the inevitable and is quitting before he is sentenced to break rocks somewhere.

Number 8:  “The people have spoken.” What he really thinks is they are all a bunch of dumb yokels who voted for his opponent and shouldn’t have been allowed to vote in the first place. What has happened to peolle? In the old days a vote could be bought for a chicken, a ham or even a watermelon.

Number 9:  “I want to thank my supporter for all their hard work.”  He can barely speak to any of them because if they had really worked hard he would have won.

Number 10: ”I have decided to retire permanently from public life and will devote my time to writing my memoirs.”  His wife told him if he ever even talked about running for office again and putting her and the family through all that nightmare she will blow his brains out.

Number 11: “I have thought about this matter for many weeks and if you really want me to run for this office – I will.  Only with the support of fine people like you would I ever agree to take on such a tremendous challenge.”  He couldn’t find a job because he has no qualifications and no one would hire him and he really needs some money – quick.

Number 12:  It was a hard fight but we won.” Privately he thinks we nothing – he had to do everything. “Remember my door is always open.” But not to you bunch of ingrates.
Perhaps President Harry s. Truman said it best: “A statesman is a politician who has been dead for ten or twenty years.”