IIt seems only appropriate to recall things my mother, who was always right, used to say, since Mother’s Day is almost here. I remember vividly all the comments Mama made, because they were so mind-boggling and she had one to fit every situation. What’s more, it’s a shock to hear my mother’s pronouncements coming out my mouth more and more. And more shocking still, they make perfect sense.
My mother had an answer for everything. And what infuriated me was it always turned out that she was right, even if it was for the wrong reason. As a young person, I simply couldn’t understand why some things were of such importance to Mama. Things like courtesy, loyalty to friends and family, discretion, avoidance of anything or anyone unpleasant. Now I can’t understand why I didn’t.
“Courtesy is everything in this world. Knowing how to conduct oneself is the most important asset a person can have,” Mama would say very often.
It’s all too true these days when politeness is a rare commodity. Rudeness has become so prevalent that corporations are sending their employees to etiquette school to learn how to be polite. In my mother’s day children were drilled in politeness. Today when I am merely civil people will say, “You’re not from here, are you? Are you from someplace in Europe?”
“People are judged by the company they keep,” Mama repeated that with great regularity, usually said in reference to someone I thought was greatly amusing and fun to be with.
But invariably they always got into trouble over something and Mama would say, “It’s just as I said. Sometimes the most charming people are the most dangerous.” Fair or not, that saying still holds true today.
“Never put in writing something you wouldn’t want to see published in the newspaper.”
Never a truer statement can be made. Look at the trouble people in high places get in because of memos, letters and scribbled notes.
“You have to nip it in the bud.” This favorite expression covered a multitude of situations.
Mama fervently believed anything that did not meet her standards of behavior, dress, attitude or thought had to be stopped dead in its tracks. No margin for error, and no quarter given. Mama’s opinion was engraved in stone. I realize how very right she was. Anything allowed to continue just takes root and is twice as difficult to eradicate. Mama also said, “ It’s easier to stay out of trouble than to get out.” All too true.
“You think too much.” Mama made this remark when I said things that challenged her mind.
As, “I wonder what contains the universe.” Only maturity enables you to realize some things just can’t be explained and some people just can’t be understood. Trying to fathom someone’s thought processes is what wears you out.
“Because I said so, that’s why.” Mama never permitted any debate on the validity of her decisions.
Democracy did not exist even as a concept at our house. Explanation of a decision was out of the question. What a powerfully simple way to deal with all questions and people. I like saying it more and more as time goes by.
“When you are older you will understand and realize that I am right.”
This was the standard reply when I said I found Mama’s reasoning faulty and past all understanding.
Mama, I am and I do.