I am constantly amazed at the wide variety of greeting cards available for every conceivable event and milestone.  Except for Labor Day.  I think it is the perfect holiday to send greeting cards to those we want to share mutual complaints with and to others whom we want to berate and insult just on general principals.

All things considered, sending Labor Day cards can serve as a release valve for pent up resentments. It’s a healthy thing to do.  Far better, and less expensive, than anger management.  As a public service and a therapeutic approach to lowering blood pressure and widespread stress, I have written some Labor Day greetings and loved every minute of it. In the interest of fair and balanced reportage, I composed Labor Day greetings for both sides. 

For A Mother-In-Law
Never to hear you would be nice,
To close your mouth would take a vice.
To make it clear in words concise,
Labor Day without you would be paradise.

For a Daughter-In-Law
I wish he had married sweet little Faye,
She would have been better in every way,
Since you never work I have to say,
You have nothing to celebrate on Labor Day.

For a politician 
Spinning the truth for you is chronic,
You need a dose of a truth tonic.
“Honest politician” is a term ironic,
More to the point it is oxymoronic.

For a voter
Labor Day is when a bunch of hicks,
Throw bar-be-ques out in the sticks.
They shout America’s in a dad-gum fix,
And blame it on crooked politics.

For a Clerk
Is there a clerk in this store?
Merchandise is piled all over the floor.
Labor Day Sales meant bargains galore,
Now they’re just a great big bore.
 
For a Customer
That dress makes you look fatter,
Nothing you could wear will flatter.
My aching feet don’t seem to matter,
I wouldn’t have Labor Day on a platter.  
 
For A Mean Boss
All you do is shout and smirk,                
We are tired and our feet hurt.               
It’s Labor Day and we’re at work,
So shut your mouth, you big dumb jerk.

For employees
All you do is moan and groan,
You’re always talking on the phone.
I’m getting a whole new staff,
Guess who’s getting the last laugh!