If you ask me...
March 2010
Dear Bettye: A few months ago a lady and I parted company. I wrote some letters I would like to have back. How can I get them without causing an uproar? Just ask, very politely, if you may have the letters back. I have heard in some cases, a lawyer has to do the demanding. Never put in writing anything you would not like to see discussed by a panel on Fox News. Dear Bettye: After my father died and my mother said she could not live alone she moved in with me for a few months. That was two years ago and in spite of being very wealthy she never pays for a single thing. She is insulted when I ask her to pay something on the very high utilities or mortgage payment and calls me ungrateful. Yet, she is always buying expensive clothes and taking trips with friends. Help!. . You had a problem when you allowed your mother to move in without a definite move out date. Tell her you are thinking of moving. Well, you are, aren’t you? Say you will help her find a great apartment so she can move in two weeks. After she moves, you can always stop thinking of moving. Dear Bettye: A friend of mine who lives in New Orleans called me to say her husband and some friends of his went to a voodoo priestess to have her cast a spell so the Saints would win in the Super Bowl. Since they won and with such a wonderful score they are scared about going to her. What do you think? I think I would like the name of that voodoo priestess. Dear Bettye: The president of our church fund-raising group makes important decisions without consulting any other members of the group. Should I voice our objection? If she is getting the job done without a lot of work dumped on group members - just be grateful. If you are really bothered about it bring it up in a meeting and ask her to appoint group members to take over the work. Then the group will write letters to me complaining about you. Thank your lucky stars.. Dear Bettye: I am so aggravated to hear someone say, “No problem” when I say thank you for something. Does it mean they regard the act of kindness as insignificant? What does it mean? It means they have forgotten how to say “You’re welcome.” Dear Bettye: What can I do when a blind date is a huge flop? Spend the whole evening as planned or make an excuse and leave early? If he looks bored too, then cut the evening short. If he appears to be having the time of his life, then spend the evening with him. Better yet, never go on blind dates. Dear Bettye: What can be done about a boss who always says he doesn’t remember anyone telling him things? Especially if something becomes a terrific problem because he did not do what he was supposed to do? Send emails and save them. When he says he doesn’t remember anything about it say, “I’ll re-send you the email I sent to you last week about that.” Dear Bettye: Do I have to be friends with all the wives of my husband’s friends? The men get together to play poker and watch football games and never join the wives during the whole visit. The wives sit in another room and talk about grandchildren and the price of groceries. Help! Establish well in advance of the next gathering your excuse for not attending. You don’t have to give many details. Simply say you have promised a dear friend to spend the afternoon or evening with her. The dear friend can always be you. .Dear Bettye: A co-worker had a baby and a few of us got together and got her a $200 gift certificate. Some people who didn’t contribute signed the card. Would it be rude in the future to have two cards? No. An easier way would have been for you to ask those who contributed to the gift sign the card. Let those who did not contribute get their own card. Send your questions or comments to bdekrcoa@AOL.com
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