Dear Bettye:  I divorced my husband after 43 years of marriage and retained my married name.  My husband is getting remarried and his fiancé called to ask me not to continue to  use my married name since it will be confusing to have two Mrs. Joe Doe’s in the community. What do you think?

I think the only one confused is the girl friend.  She is unspeakable rude to even suggest such a thing to you.  Legally, you and all subsequent wives will have the same name until they remarry. You can change your name back to your maiden name, but only if you want to. 

Dear Bettye:  My cousin sends emails to many people including me and they are often off-color.  How can I get him to stop?

You can’t do anything to make him stop, but you can tell him not to include you on his email list.

Dear Bettye:  There is a man I like at the office where I work, but while he is very friendly he never asks me out.  Would it be appropriate for me to ask him?

All I can say is my mother, who was always right said, “If a man likes you he’ll find a way to let you know.”

Dear Bettye:  I am asked for a guest list for several bridal showers. Is it necessary to invite the groom’s sister and mother?  Our families don’t get along at all.

Forget about the showers and think hard about what the future holds for you with the in-laws already not getting along.  Like it or not, it's customary for in-laws to be invited to all showers.

Dear Bettye: We are senior citizens and will marry next month. The only difference of opinion we have is our politics.  I am a Democrat and he is a Republican.  Should one or the other of us change parties to avoid arguments?

It’s possible to respect a spouse’s opinion without agreeing with him. It happens all the time and politics has nothing to do with it. Unless you are planning to hold a mean-spirited political caucus at your house, I see no reason why a Democrat and a Republican can’t live in harmony.

 Dear Bettye: What do you think about a woman keeping the names of former husbands as a surname?  Like Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis did.

A woman may use her maiden name as a middle name, but the idea of stringing a collection of ex-husbands names looks like a minibiography.  It is not only improper, it’s laughable. 

Dear Bettye:  Telephone solicitors aren’t nearly as rude as the people we call.  They slam the phone down in our ears and shout insults.  People need to get used to the fact that as long as things need to be sold there will be telephone solicitors.  

And as long as you make unwelcome calls at inconvenient times you need to get used to having the phone slammed down in your ear.

Dear Bettye: I was asked by a lady to guess her age and I guessed an age older than she is.   She became very angry.  What should I have done? 

Always remember that when ladies ask this question they do not want to hear anything like the truth.  Just say you are no good at guessing ages because ladies always look so young these days. 

Dear Bettye:  If a respectable woman meets a respectable man at a conference and the two enjoyed their conversation, why is it he did not call her for a date?

Because he was less respectable than you thought, or you were more respectable than he thought.

Dear Bettye:  My family is giving a party for our great-grandmother who will be celebrating her 90th birthday.  Among the guests are a Congressman and our pastor.  Who should be greeted first?

The one who arrives first.  I would accord the pastor courtesy precedence.  No politician in his right mind would object.

Dear Bettye:  When my wife is angry at me she won’t talk and it drives me crazy.  She will remain silent until I figure out what’s wrong. Is there a better way to handle times like this?

The less said the better since it’s probably something you said in the first place that made her angry.  The very best advice for time like this is just say you’re sorry even though you don't know what for. Flowers are always a nice touch.

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