If you ask me...
October 2010
Dear Bettye: My father, while healthy, has no friends since my mother died. I am an only child and he relies on me to find something for him to do. He calls several times a day, shows up unannounced a my office or home to visit, and seems to resent it when I have other plans. How can I care for him but still lead my own live? There are church groups and other senior activities he could try. But your father has to make a new life and you can’t do that for him. More importantly, don’t allow him to take over yours. Dear Bettye: I read your column all the time but this is the first time I have emailed you. I am middle-aged, recently divorced and new to today’s dating game. A man I met through friends texted me for a date. I texted back to call me so we could work out time and date. He did, but am I hopelessly naive? No. You did exactly the right thing. You must have retained a lot of what I have written in all the years you have been reading my column. Dear Bettye: I am so sick of men telling me I am intimidating. What does that mean? It means they can’t keep up with you intellectually. Men with even a grain of sense would never say such a thing. Take it as a compliment.- it is. Dear Bettye: I divorced several months ago after being married for 35 years and I am completely ignorant about dating rules. I met a man who is very handsome and completely charming. But, my friends say he is irresponsible, always in some kind of a mess with women or on the job. Should I continue to date him and judge him by the way he is with me? Would you even look at him twice if he was irresponsible, always in some kind of trouble with women or with people on his job and he was ugly? I didn’t think so. Dear Bettye: I have met a very nice man three months ago and we enjoy going out together. I know several women he has dated and they all say he has never been faithful to anyone including his two ex-wives. Can men change? He admits all the cheating, but says he is older and wiser now. How can I know he has changed? It is always possible someone can change, but it only happens once in a blue moon.. The Farmer’s Almanac says no blue moons are expected this century. Dear Bettye: I am a so-called senior citizen and everyone says these are my golden years. I see nothing golden about them. How can I wake up with a song in my heart when there’s nothing to be happy about? Every day you wake up is a gift from God. He expects you to provide the song. Dear Bettye: What do I do when a man kisses my hand? Should I say thank you? It doesn’t happen often but I always feel foolish. You are fortunate to know such a nice man. A lady never thanks a gentleman for a romantic gesture. Just smile – you don’t have to say anything. Dear Bettye: My husband’s ex-wife says she is sending invitations to her mother and his mother to his son’s graduation. My husband asked her to send an invitation to me and she refused. My stepson is very unhappy about everything. I have helped to raise him since he was four. Usually only a limited number of invitations are available for each graduate. He wants you to be there, but is trying not to make his mother angry by inviting you. Assure him you will be thinking of him with pride on that day. After all, it’s his day – let him enjoy it. Dear Bettye: I am a widow and my mother does not approve of the man I am dating. She says he has a weak chin. What do you think? My mother made similar remarks. As I have said, she was always right. Send your questions or comments to bdekrcoa@AOL.com
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