Dear Bettye: I have wonderful friends and among them is a man who is intelligent, witty and the one I can talk to about anything. The idea has crossed my mind lately that maybe  he and I should become more than friends.  What do you think?

As in all things, the chemistry is there or it isn’t.  Since you have been friends for years and he hasn’t indicated he wants to be more than friends I would be extremely cautious about making suggestive remarks to him. Remember men are skittish, and frighten easily. You could scare him to death.

 Dear Bettye: I belong to a book club and my friend always rolls her eyes when I give my opinion about something at meetings.  Should I let her know I see her?

First establish that she does not have an eye problem. If not, tell her you notice her eye-rolling when you speak at meetings and ask what it means or you will ask her at the next club meeting why her eyes are rolling.

 Dear Bettye:  I feel silly writing this, but ever since I was a child I have felt my parents prefer my sister to me.  She has always been a goody-goody, got higher-paying jobs and so on. My parents always take her side in arguments.  Should I just try to get over it?

When it comes to feelings there is no should to it. You feel as you do and that’s it.  Talk with your parents and your sister about it.  Don’t expect any answers. 

Dear Bettye: My mother-in-law gave me an expensive piece of her jewelry I do not like.  Can I trade it in on another piece, sell it or how can I handle this?

Very carefully. If you want the jewelry only it is expensive keep it for several years and circumstances may change.  Until then you will have to say you wear it only on special occasions – and have a few in mind at all times.

Dear Bettye: I met a very nice retired man who had recently lost his wife.  For six months we went out to movies and dinner several times a month. He never indicated he wanted to get serious.  I didn’t hear from him for several weeks and then I heard from a friend that he is getting married. I feel he just dated me until he found the one he wanted to marry.

No, you dated him until he found the one he wanted to marry.  Long before six months had passed you should have known it was not going anywhere.  Didn’t you ever wonder what he was doing all those other nights?
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Dear Bettye: I am dating a man – we’re both seniors – and our evenings are ruined by single women asking him to dance leaving me alone at the table.  Sometimes they just sit down uninvited and barge in on our evening.  What should I do?

I think it is more to the point what he should do.  He does not have to get up and dance.  Dancing and leaving you alone at the table is a signal to the other women that he is available. Think about it.

Dear Bettye: A widow in our neighborhood constantly calls on the husbands to do little chores for her.  If we say anything we will look jealous which we are not, but we all resent it.  She never asks us to help her with anything.

The next time she calls for your husband say he is not available but you will help her.  Don’t worry, she doesn’t want you.

Dear Bettye:  My half-sister has moved back home with her dreadful mother, who is no longer married to my father, and many equally dreadful cousins.  I love my sister, but hate the rest of the crowd.  How can I introduce her to my friends without seeming to be related to the rest of the crowd?

One option is to never invite anyone but your sister to your house.  If the worse happens and you run into the whole crowd in public when you are with friends, you can say, “This is my sister, Mary Smith.” Then let her introduce the crowd.

Dear Bettye: Two older women see evil in everything and love it when the vicious gossip they spread causes trouble.  When they are confronted they bat their eyes, smile and act surprised that anyone is angry.  Help!

I hear this question very often. You are describing Tweedledee and Tweedledum – the two rotund, troublesome characters in Alice In Wonderland.  They went everywhere together, causing chaos and smiled the whole time.  As for your Tweedledee and Tweedledum, simply say you don’t believe what they are saying, but you will tell the person the lies they are spreading.  They won’t stop talking, but they will stop talking to you.

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