My journey into the unknown has gradually taken me to the dark edge of the world of blindness - a totally different world from the world of sight with its large population of normal vision people.

In the world of blindness there are different levels of vision impairment - from the extreme of experiencing total darkness to the beginning stages of macular degeneration when the patient can still report to his doctor at his six month appointment date that he can still read the small print of the newspaper.

However, at the next six month appointment, the story line has changed - the progressive nature of macular degeneration has increasingly damaged the macula and now the small print in the newspaper can no longer be read and the patient becomes acutely aware that his journey into the unknown is in dire jeopardy.

When this happened to me, my first reaction was one of denial. “Oh no,” I said to myself, “My macular degeneration will be different. The progressive nature of it will be so slow that I will die before I will go blind.” During that critical time of thinking about all the negative possibilities that are associated with the irreversible damage to the macula, I was tempted to think that life without sight would be unthinkable.

At one point in my journey into the unknown I became emotionally unhinged during a conversation with a family member and I uncharacteristically made an absolutely unthinkable statement. In all seriousness I said, “I would rather be dead than blind.” Her reaction was one of incredulity, “Kenneth, you cannot believe that. You cannot be serious.” But I was. The overwhelming fear of the unknown can cause reasonable people to say unreasonable things.
The world of sight has always found it difficult to relate in a meaningful way to the world of blindness. I know because I once lived in the world of normal sight. Back then, my feelings toward the blind, no matter what their level of blindness might be, never passed the threshold of having sympathy for the unfortunate blind. However, let it be known far and wide that the blind, whatever their level of blindness, do not want the sympathy of the more fortunate members of the world of sight.

More than anything else, we desire your understanding of why we are unable to function as we once did. Independent living is now gone for good.

We are no longer able to live independent lives. We are now dependent people and we dislike that condition with a passion.

I use the word “we” in a very deliberate fashion. I am no longer an outsider, simply looking at the blind as unfortunate members of society. I am now a certified member of that segment. After one of my six month visits to my doctor’s office, he notified me that my tests revealed that my visual acuity had reached intolerable levels. The visual acuity in my right eye was 20/200 and in my left eye 20/400. These numbers, he informed me, were consistent with legal blindness.

Of all the words I wanted to hear from the doctor, those were the two I did not want to hear. Immediately I had to fend off the thought that there was some kind of stigma attached to this loss of vision - as if my inattention to healthy living was to blame for my entry into the world of the legally blind.

Rational thinking enabled me to put aside the thought that there was some stigma attached to the loss of normal vision. The most reasonable explanation for the loss of normal vision was given by an optometrist’s technician who, after an examination, said with an authority that belied her young age, “Mr. Morrison, you have outlived your eyes.”

It was only a chance remark for her to make, but I gladly accepted it as wisdom from above - a wisdom that explained the mystery as to why I was now an authenticated (though unwilling) member of the world of the legally blind. We now know why ophthalmologists classify this kind of macular degeneration as being age related. This has an important meaning for the senior community: if you live long enough, your chances are greatly increased that you also will outlive your eyes.

A friend once said to me, “I want to live to be one hundred.” My quick reply was, “Not me. I have no desire to live beyond the time when I can no longer be productive and useful.” At my advanced age, I am now more concerned with the quality of life rather than the length of time life may offer me. So, at this milestone in my journey, I choose quality rather than quantity .

However, realistically, the choice is not mine to make. Inherited genes may decree that I will live to be 101 or older. The best thing I can do at this milestone in my journey is to be open and receptive to what I call the “wisdom words” of life. These are the words (spoken and written) from the minds and hearts of poets, religious philosophers, inspired spiritual writers and others who have something of uncommon value to share with us. It is with the help of these “wisdom words” that has enabled me to reach a critical tipping point in my continuing journey. So, I choose to listen very carefully to these “wisdom words” from the past.
I also choose to listen to contemporary “Wisdom Words” that come from the most unlikely sources.

When I was in high school one of the most popular songs of the day was called “You’ve Got To Accentuate the Positive.” I kept the words of that song in the music memory box of my mind for all these years. Written by Johnny Mercer, it had an upbeat tune that sent its message directly to the heart and mind of anyone facing a period of discouragement.

The words, as I remember them, are: “You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and don’t mess with Mr. In Between.” These contemporary “Wisdom Words” spoke directly to my mind as I sought to find the right path that would lead me to a successful destination at the end of my journey.

Johnny Mercer was not the only popular song writer to give us “Wisdom Words.” A few years later the musical team of Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein II produced one of the most noted popular inspirational songs of my generation called “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” The words Hammerstein wrote gave me needed encouragement as I continued my journey. He wrote, “When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high and don’t be afraid of the dark.”

Those were “Wisdom Words” I needed to hear; those were “Wisdom Words” full of the kind of encouragement that my heart needed to hear.

They were also words that challenged my faith to take a strong stand against the unknown, saying “Don’t be afraid of the dark.”

So, with the aid of “Wisdom Words,” from the past and the present, plus the help from family and friends, I have turned the corner in my journey; I am now content to face the unknown future with a renewed confidence that a vital faith and a victorious spirit will enable me to safely find my way along the dim path my doctor calls legal blindness. Fear is now banished and when I walk through the storm, I will hold my head up high because I do not walk alone. Someone else is walking with me - a friend we call God.

Note: Part three of this column will be found in the next issue of the Rapides Senior News.